Why Parents Should Avoid Overusing the Family Court System

When Parents Turn to Court Too Often

When relationships break down, it’s understandable that parents want to protect their children and secure fair arrangements. However, too many parents rely on the family court system to solve disagreements that could be settled more constructively outside of court.

While every parent has the right to access the courts, that right can sometimes be overused - especially when repeated or meritless applications are made. This can increase tension, drain finances, and, most importantly, harm children’s wellbeing.

A recent case, S and T (Children: Domestic Abuse) [2025] EWFC OJ 312, highlights the issue. In that case, both parents were banned from making further court applications until 2026 after nearly three years of ongoing litigation. The judge noted that “both parties need a break from court proceedings and, most importantly, the children need a break.”

This decision shows that over-reliance on the court system can do more harm than good.

Why the Family Court Should Be a Last Resort

The family court plays an essential role in protecting children and resolving serious disputes, such as those involving domestic abuse or safeguarding concerns. But for most families, going to court is rarely the best way to reach a long-term solution.

Court cases are stressful, can be expensive, and are often slow. Each hearing, statement, and cross-allegation can inflame existing conflict rather than calm it. For children, constant court battles create anxiety and instability. They need consistency, not continued uncertainty about their parents’ next hearing.

Judges regularly remind parents that the court is not designed to manage everyday parenting disagreements. It should be a safety net, not a default option.

The Benefits of Mediation and Out-of-Court Solutions

The good news is that there are several alternatives to court that can help parents reach agreement more quickly, affordably, and peacefully.

1. Family Mediation

Mediation allows parents to work together with the help of a trained, impartial mediator. The goal is to reach a practical, child-focused agreement without confrontation.

Because both parents are part of the process, they are more likely to stick to the outcome. Mediation is also confidential, flexible, and often much faster than waiting for a court date. It is also possible to use a mediation process that suits your situation such as shuttle mediation (with parties in separate rooms and the mediator shuttling between the parties), hybrid mediation (with lawyers present) or child-inclusive mediation (when a specifically trained mediator can ascertain the views of appropriately aged children separately for the parties to then discuss). 

2. Solicitor Negotiation or Collaborative Law

If legal advice is needed, solicitor negotiation or collaborative law can help parents agree terms outside the courtroom. In collaborative law, both parents and their solicitors meet together to discuss issues openly and reach solutions cooperatively.

This approach keeps the outcome in the parents’ hands and avoids the ‘win-lose’ dynamic of litigation.

3. Parenting Coordination and Family Therapy

Some disputes stem from communication difficulties rather than legal disagreements. In those cases, parenting coordination or family therapy can help parents build better co-parenting relationships and reduce conflict over time.

Key Advantages of Avoiding Family Court

Choosing out-of-court dispute resolution offers significant benefits for parents and children alike:

• Less stress and hostility – Focus on cooperation instead of confrontation.
• Lower costs – Mediation and negotiation are often more affordable than repeated court hearings.
• Faster outcomes – Families can often reach agreements in weeks rather than months or years.
• Better for children – Children are protected from the emotional fallout of ongoing legal battles.
• More flexible arrangements – Parents can create agreements tailored to their family’s needs.

These advantages help parents move forward, rebuild communication, and give their children the security they deserve.

When the Family Court Is Still Needed

There are circumstances where court involvement is necessary - for example, when there are serious safeguarding concerns, domestic abuse, or risk of harm to a child. In these cases, the court provides essential protection and clear boundaries.

However, where safety isn’t an issue, parents are strongly encouraged to explore mediation or collaborative solutions first. Doing so not only helps reduce conflict but also shows the court, if later needed, that both parents have made genuine efforts to resolve matters amicably.

Putting Children First

The family court system should protect children, not expose them to long-term parental conflict. The case of S and T (Children: Domestic Abuse) demonstrates that even the court itself sometimes needs to step in to stop over-litigation.

By contrast, mediation and collaborative approaches promote understanding, problem-solving, and stability - exactly what children need after a separation.

Choosing to mediate rather than litigate is not about giving in; it’s about putting your children’s wellbeing at the centre of every decision. Parents who work together, even after separation, give their children the best possible chance to thrive.

Need Help Resolving a Parenting Dispute?

If you’re struggling to reach an agreement about your children, our family law team can help. We’ll guide you through your options, from mediation referrals to collaborative discussions, helping you avoid unnecessary stress and expense.

Get in touch today to learn how we can support you in resolving disputes constructively - and keep your family’s future out of the courtroom.

Disclaimer: The content of this website blog is for general awareness and insight. This is not legal or professional advice and readers should not act upon the information provided, they should seek professional advice based on their own particular circumstances. The law may have changed since this article was published.